definecat | Metaheroes Inbox

Yeah, it's not about book club again.

[Jason's heart rate goes up as he tries to work up the nerve to say what he needed to say]

Those alternate lives we had felt good. Really good. We knew exactly how to work together. I've never felt this way with anyone before.

[Sleeper cocks their head as they consider that, well aware that Jason's heart-rate has spiked along with other physical responses, although they don't really want to use that knowledge.]

Sharing a nervous system does have certain advantages. And drawbacks.

The worlds seemed to be tailored to make us...want to stay in them, to believe everything was right and good.

[A hesitation, as they absently rearrange their body into a more comfortable position in a sign of their own nerves.]

A good bond creates a stronger whole. At least, the kind I would favor. But there is also...the inability to be alone.

Yeah. I know how much independence means to you. I would never want you to lose that. I like my freedom too.

[On the other hand, being such a loner for as long as he has has its detriments]

What does it mean when a symbiote and a host willingly bond? Is it like what we had before or was that all just bait?

[If it's the latter, it could be disappointing but at least it would also give him enough reason to ignore what he's been feeling]

I'm...not sure. I think that's what it should be like. My parent feels...lost without his other, but there were some partners that Venom had more in common with than others. I got some from Eddie when I was young, back in my world. But each bond is...unique. Each partner gives things to a bond that are as individual as those involved.

I have only had experience bonding temporarily with two humans. And only one was aware of it. A partnership would be more. But also...yes, there would be blending, but because we are equals, there wouldn't have to be a loss of self. I could separate from you without consequences because there wouldn't be any physiological interdependency.

Yeah. It wouldn't be good for either of us to get addicted.

[Still, that bond feels like nothing Jason's ever experienced before]

Would you ever want to bond with a human like that? Not talking about just me but in general.

We are a hive species. Individuality is not valued the same. Being part of a larger whole is just how we are. Bonding outside the hive is both a survival trait and a way to bring new experiences to all. But it is also deeper than the hivemind. I am not aware of Dylan the way I would be of a partner.

Transitory bonding, using a body to hide, or to have the convenience of a known form is very different from what you're talking about. It's a commitment to your other. To protect and be protected, to share in all things because to some extent, there wouldn't be a you or an I, only we.

A good bond is like the human ideal of an 'old married couple.' To be in such harmony that one can speak and act for the other without doubt of their opinions. Few boundaries would be left for privacy, but there would also be no need, because with the intimacy comes understanding.

[Sleeper doesn't usually speak this much, and is having trouble putting into words what would normally be conveyed at a deeper level. However, trying to communicate more directly would be crossing a threshold that they won't without consent. Not with a friend.]

[Jason had been struggling to fully describe what it had been like to bond with Sleeper in that alternate world but Sleeper's explanation perfectly encapsulates it]

Yeah. I think that's what it felt like when we bonded. It just made perfect sense and we were in perfect harmony. I've worked with partners and in teams before but those times don't have the same level of intensity as what we went through.

I... wouldn't be against doing it again but only if that's what you want too.

[Sleeper's tail twitches as they think about it. There are a lot of thoughts.]

I have only really had two hosts that I spent time with. One I lobotomized, and the other was unaware of my presence. This would definitely be different. You would be able to be aware of things through my senses, which are different than yours. Also, there are sometimes...carryover from the hive.

[Dylan is pretty self-contained, as is Sleeper, but they are still part of a greater whole]

Of courses, we could give it a test drive. I would never want to force you into anything. Or pressure.
If one of us decided at some point to separate, I could make certain there are no ill effects.

[It's tentative at first but Jason reaches to gently stroke Sleeper's back]

A test drive sounds good. Trying to look back at those fake lives feels like trying to remember a tv show or a book. I want to know what it's really like instead, as long as you're okay with that too.

[Jason never thought he would be asking for anything like a symbiote bond before. But he can't shake off how good it felt to be in one with someone he trusts]

[Sleeper would never really have seen themself initiating a bond, because they enjoy their independence. And yet, the memories of that fake life, and knowing they were, well, maybe happy wasn't the right word for it, but definitely it was a positive thing.]

I would be okay with this. But you do realize that we would experience everything together. Thoughts, sensations...it might feel invasive at first.

I know. I've been thinking about that too. I'm not used to sharing those kinds of things with anyone. Why risk doing that unless you're sure you can trust them first?

It's a big step for both of us.

[Even now, there's a voice of doubt in his mind. It's a voice that he's learned to have after years of struggling to survive. It's a voice that hasn't overwhelmed the interest in a symbiote bond though]

[Sleeper nuzzles him, giving the best reassurance they can without using additional influence. They want to try. To consider having more, but they know that having the kind of equal partnership that Eddie and Venom have is not the norm, but they won't take over without a damn good reason. They don't want a pawn or a convenient body.]

But I think we'll both regret not trying.

[Jason strokes back for his own comfort and for Sleeper's. His heart rate is still above average but now he feels more confident about this endeavor. Sleeper hasn't rejected the idea and they seem to be on the same page already. It would be a welcoming change to have a truly equal partnership]

Yeah. It's been on my mind for a while now. I want to try. I guess you've been thinking about it too?

It was...special. I don't the right way to start. I wouldn't just want to...move in.

[Jason snorts. It's a strange predicament to be in and unexplored territory for both of them]

Maybe spend part of our day together just... being? Have some kind of schedule? That way it's not really moving in together. And I know you would still wanna live with Dylan.

You know he has abandonment issues. I can't leave him.

[That's one of the complications. Because Jason has his own responsibilities.]

That's...probably going to be something we should discuss. Because he should know that we're, uh, close.

[Jason nods]

How he feels about this is important. He's family. I'm not gonna get in between you two.

What about yours. Considering you employ most of them at the bar...

I'm not worried about them. It's none of their business as long as this doesn't get in the way of their caped lives.

[He didn't even know most of them until nearly a year ago]

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